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  #1  
Old 08-13-2018, 07:47 PM
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Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Hi All,

Like most on here, I have reached that age where doctors are required to finger, probe and photograph my colon and adjacent parts.

I've got a four day ride scheduled that finishes the morning of my first colonoscopy. I'm told that the day before, I'll have to take some sort of bowel prep liquid that's going to clean me out.

I don't want to cut my ride short, and really, how bad can this stuff be.

So I've been researching some products that could help and have found these anal plugs that are a simple, safe and discreet aid for faecal incontinence. It is inserted just like any anal plug and can be used for up to 12 hours preventing the uncontrolled loss of faecal matter.

Has anyone tried something like this on a ride? And what were the pros and cons.

Photo of the plugs below. They look like a well designed bit of gear.
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Old 08-13-2018, 07:56 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Don’t worry about it just drink your prep and ride on. you should probably choose a tight fitting one piece riding suit to wear
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Old 08-13-2018, 08:01 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Capt dirty underpants
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Old 08-13-2018, 08:11 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

I’m guessing you have 2options, cut the ride short or reschedule the Dr. appt. I’ve gone through the process a few times, you wear disposable ride gear?
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Old 08-13-2018, 08:46 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

No way you can take the prep solution and ride that morning - well you can but you are going to sh*t yourself.

In fact if you use a butt plug that thing will get blown out of your a** like a canon ball.

Don't do it.
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Old 08-13-2018, 08:55 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Cancel, cut your ride short or reschedule the procedure but don't try and do the colonoscopy prep and ride at the same time. I've had two colonoscopies and I wouldn't consider for a second being anywhere other than within walking distance of a toilet. The prep completely clears your colon, expect to be sitting on the toilet 5-10 times before your colon is completely flushed and by the end of the process your peeing out your behind. Unless you enjoy sitting in your own feces plus have a huge mess to clean up don't ride and prep at the same time

Oh and once you start the prep when you gotta go you gotta go right now. There ain't no holding it for 5, 10 or 15 minutes until you can find a rest room.
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Old 08-13-2018, 09:29 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Don’t listen to these wimpy guys. Go for it
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Old 08-13-2018, 09:31 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

You've got to be shitting me? Of course you can do this! Taking all that stuff is nothing and you won't have a thing to worry about. Just stuff your bunghole up with tampons and hold your bowels until you get home after the ride. It'll be a breeze.
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Old 08-13-2018, 09:48 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

I'm a glass half full kind of guy anyway, add some encouraging responses and I reckon I'll be OK.

I wear perforated leathers
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Old 08-13-2018, 10:08 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by justjoe
You've got to be shitting me? Of course you can do this! Taking all that stuff is nothing and you won't have a thing to worry about. Just stuff your bunghole up with tampons and hold your bowels until you get home after the ride. It'll be a breeze.
That's like a normal ride for justjoe!
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Old 08-13-2018, 11:33 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karlb
Don’t worry about it just drink your prep and ride on. you should probably choose a tight fitting one piece riding suit to wear


What he said!

And if you really want to make for a memorable experience, why not sign up for a Butt Burner (no pun intended...) rider and marathon it? And don't forget to take pics and post a ride report!!
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Old 08-13-2018, 11:38 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Not sure everyone is taking this seriously
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  #13  
Old 08-14-2018, 02:59 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Don’t you dare wash your underpants in the middle of a ride
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Old 08-14-2018, 04:37 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

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Old 08-14-2018, 05:38 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Underpants
I'm a glass half full kind of guy anyway

and an a** completely empty possibly!
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  #16  
Old 08-14-2018, 07:42 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

When you start drinking that stuff, you're not going to want to be more than a few steps from a toilet until your appointment time for the anal probing. If you try to stop your bodily emissions during that time you are doing to wish you were dead until you relieve that pressure - and relieve that pressure you will - regardless of there it happens. I'm pretty sure the Geneva convention would consider a butt plug in this situation inhuman torture.
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  #17  
Old 08-14-2018, 08:43 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

How about a catheter? You could snake it down so it exits in front of the rear wheel.
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Old 08-14-2018, 08:52 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by tward
How about a catheter? You could snake it down so it exits in front of the rear wheel.
That's shitty advice although possibly effective.
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Old 08-14-2018, 10:02 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

New prep day ride perhaps.

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Old 08-14-2018, 10:30 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
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How about a catheter? You could snake it down so it exits in front of the rear wheel.
Brings a whole new meaning to “making tracks “
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  #21  
Old 08-14-2018, 10:33 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Underpants
I'm a glass half full kind of guy anyway, add some encouraging responses and I reckon I'll be OK.

I wear perforated leathers

You can do it!



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Old 08-14-2018, 10:39 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Don't listen to these jokers! Go for it, just ride without pants or underpants, shove a garden hose a few inches up your ass and let it dangle off the back of the bike. Ride like the wind, and don't worry about cops sneaking up on you, they won't dare approach from the, well, rear!

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Old 08-14-2018, 10:40 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Underpants
It is inserted just like any anal plug and can be used for up to 12 hours preventing the uncontrolled loss of faecal matter.





With enough duct tape it might work.
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Old 08-14-2018, 10:55 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Craig knows baseball too!
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Old 08-14-2018, 11:44 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

You don't under any circumstances want to be riding while prepping for the procedure. Once you begin, you will in very short begin crapping your brains out. You will definitely want to be home and near the facilities. The whole idea of the prep is to clear out ALL solid matter from your intestinal tract. When done, nothing but clear liquid will be coming out. If you haven't achieved that state, they won't do the procedure and you don't want to have to repeat. One of my employees just had to repeat. She didn't follow the instructions from the doc and she "paid the price" not to mention the hidden costs of having to reschedule a not inexpensive procedure. Your other alternative would be to reschedule the test.


Jim
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Old 08-14-2018, 12:05 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Upon my last colonoscopy, my Dr praised my preparation procedures

The key is an early morning appointment! All prep is the night prior.
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Old 08-14-2018, 12:26 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by tward
Craig knows baseball too!

Why thank you Terry, in recognition of your compliment, and in accordance with the common theme of this thread, I'm having a shit load delivered to you,

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Old 08-14-2018, 12:31 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
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Why thank you Terry, in recognition of your compliment, and in accordance with the common theme of this thread, I'm having a shit load delivered to you,


Well thank you Craig, I live on Orange Lake in NY.
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Old 08-14-2018, 01:48 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
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Well thank you Craig, I live on Orange Lake in NY.
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Old 08-14-2018, 03:02 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpel
Once you begin, you will in very short begin crapping your brains out.
Apparently this will not adversely affect the OP.
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Old 08-14-2018, 03:38 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

So, did Capt. Soiledskivies get an answer to his question?
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Old 08-14-2018, 03:48 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

deleted post
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Last edited by tward : 08-14-2018 at 03:51 PM. Reason: Tried to delete duplicate post
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:05 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Capt you need to be careful that the prep solution doesn’t cause your head to cave in
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:58 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpel
You don't under any circumstances want to be riding while prepping for the procedure. Once you begin, you will in very short begin crapping your brains out. You will definitely want to be home and near the facilities. The whole idea of the prep is to clear out ALL solid matter from your intestinal tract. When done, nothing but clear liquid will be coming out. If you haven't achieved that state, they won't do the procedure and you don't want to have to repeat. One of my employees just had to repeat. She didn't follow the instructions from the doc and she "paid the price" not to mention the hidden costs of having to reschedule a not inexpensive procedure. Your other alternative would be to reschedule the test.


Jim

Thank you Jim for your considered response.
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Old 08-14-2018, 06:59 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Howdy
Capt you need to be careful that the prep solution doesn’t cause your head to cave in


Haha lol. Is this from your own experience? we should both prep when I come to stay at your place. Just for shits and giggles
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Old 08-14-2018, 07:13 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Underpants
Haha lol. Is this from your own experience? we should both prep when I come to stay at your place. Just for shits and giggles

I’ve heard about your ‘prep parties’. Can you have one this time where child protection agencies don’t get involved��

PS. Are you really coming over for a holiday or is the NZ government paying your air fares?
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Old 08-14-2018, 07:15 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Don’t let these assholes get you down Capt. They are just shitting you
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Old 08-15-2018, 12:19 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Just hummm along it is a catchy tune



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Old 08-15-2018, 07:23 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Underpants
Haha lol. Is this from your own experience? we should both prep when I come to stay at your place. Just for shits and giggles
You're determined to not get the message, aren't you? Post up the day after your procedure and tell us how you liked it.
For my part... I'd say that it's worth going through almost anything to get the Propofol.
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Old 08-15-2018, 09:22 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Having lost a relative and two dear friends to preventative cancers in the last few years, I can't stress strongly enough how important these tests are. Do yourself and all your loved ones a solid and get your PSA checked annually to get a baseline; go to a doctor that still believes in two fingers up the kazoo; and get that colonoscopy starting at 50.

Well, at least I think that's two fingers... I've never turned around and looked.
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Old 08-15-2018, 10:42 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by PittsDriverWes
go to a doctor that still believes in two fingers up the kazoo; and get that colonoscopy starting at 50.
.
From what I've been told, Louis exclaimed to the Dr. while in that compromised position: 'I'll give you 20 minutes to cut that out'
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Old 08-15-2018, 11:49 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by vics
From what I've been told, Louis exclaimed to the Dr. while in that compromised position: 'I'll give you 20 minutes to cut that out'

Actually what Louis asked was,

“Doctor why do you have both hands on my shoulders?”
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Old 08-15-2018, 01:40 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by CJS350
Actually what Louis asked was,

“Doctor why do you have both hands on my shoulders?”


Actually, what Louis asked was,


"Is that all you got?"
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Old 08-15-2018, 01:41 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Trust me!
If you are taking the same sh.. (pardon the pun) I´ve been given at each cancer checkup you want to stay at home. Preferably on the same floor as the bathroom.
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Old 08-15-2018, 02:01 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

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Old 08-15-2018, 02:32 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

I think that Captain Underpants is an adult, and should make his own decision regarding motorcycling while undergoing prep for a colonoscopy. I do hope, however, that he at least reads this story about the prep procedure by Dave Barry. Here is the link: https://www.miamiherald.com/living/l...le1928847.html.

Hope you don't have a shitty day.

Seeya
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Old 08-16-2018, 10:19 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

you will shit so much you will have chapped ass lips. Moving more that 10 feet from the toilet is inviting disaster. Oh BTW, do not moan the Dr's name during the exam, They don't like it.
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Old 08-16-2018, 01:51 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

I always enjoy reading that Dave Barry article. Dancing Queen is not the most inappropriate music that could have been playing for Dave's procedure. My doc (who I know personally) though it would be funny to be playing some Barry White when I got rolled in. Ha ha... I would have shit myself it was so funny - if I'd had any left to shit.
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Old 08-16-2018, 07:53 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by justjoe
Apparently this will not adversely affect the OP.

Please explain
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Old 08-17-2018, 08:05 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt Underpants
Please explain
You're Captain Underpants, a couple of squirts won't hurt you! It's not as if I called you shit for brains...........
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Old 08-17-2018, 09:15 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paughco
I think that Captain Underpants is an adult, and should make his own decision regarding motorcycling while undergoing prep for a colonoscopy. I do hope, however, that he at least reads this story about the prep procedure by Dave Barry. Here is the link: https://www.miamiherald.com/living/l...le1928847.html.

Hope you don't have a shitty day.

Seeya
ATB
Having just crept into my 40's I haven't been "blessed" with said experience yet, but the above article made me laugh out loud several times about this sh*tty situation.
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Old 08-19-2018, 04:22 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

When you post a Thread asking a medical question, don't expect a serious answer regarding your ass and it's internal workings from motorcyclists who blog. Nothing good can come out of it... especially from your 6 0'clock.

Don't kid yourself, Colonoscopy Day starts 12 hours prior and ends up ruining the remainder of your day. The only thing you will be looking for is a shitter. Motorcycle riding is not in the program.

Should you be going all the way and be put to sleep, if your hospital is like mine, they won't start the procedure until a ride home has been secured. In 3 to 5 years you will not look forward to the next procedure with any joy, but it may save your life.

On second thought... go ahead ride that bike, but be careful, your rear tire is going to get a little greasy! ! Oh yeah, Depends won't help.
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Old 08-21-2018, 08:34 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

I just found out that you can use WD40 to clean shit stains out of your underpants! I got this useful information in the shoutbox.
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Old 08-21-2018, 11:07 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karlb
Don’t listen to these wimpy guys. Go for it




If you do, we want a exhaustive ride report with pics!
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Old 08-21-2018, 11:11 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by vics
From what I've been told, Louis exclaimed to the Dr. while in that compromised position: 'I'll give you 20 minutes to cut that out'




I think what I really said was 10 minutes...



Bwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
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Old 08-21-2018, 11:16 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by CJS350
Actually what Louis asked was,

“Doctor why do you have both hands on my shoulders?”




I didn't really have a choice, he was as big as Vics is but waaaay stronger and the nurse lying in front of me kinda liked it kinky like that...
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Old 08-21-2018, 11:20 AM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by justjoe
I just found out that you can use WD40 to clean shit stains out of your underpants! I got this useful information in the shoutbox.




Which one?


CF1?


The colorectal forum?
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Old 08-21-2018, 12:34 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

I was going to ask for the forum's collective advice on my forthcoming penis reduction surgery, but after reading some of the less than empathetic responses here, i won't be bothering.
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Old 08-21-2018, 05:57 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcchoc
I was going to ask for the forum's collective advice on my forthcoming penis reduction surgery, but after reading some of the less than empathetic responses here, i won't be bothering.
Just fold it!
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Old 08-21-2018, 07:32 PM
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Re: Colonoscopy and the Art of Motorcycling

Just do it!


and don't forget, if there are no pics/vids, it didn't happen.
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